so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
