i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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