I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
tell me about the fingering
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