When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
