it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
