that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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