Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
