i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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