Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i think im in europe. pls send help
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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