fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize