Got a toothbrush?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
