I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
