You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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