Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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