is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
