Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
