Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if only i could text you this smell
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
