youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
