5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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