The maid of honor just puked.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
