'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I love you. Go after that dick
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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