He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
