haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
