so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
