he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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