Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
