Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
