HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
