This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
