Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
