i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I need a beard to bite.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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