I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
A+ Viking dick
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