Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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