i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
