Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
