went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
