is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
