She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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