It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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