Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
