my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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