I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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