i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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