What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
