Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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