thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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