Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
