i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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