I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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