Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
