You smell like stripper and shame
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Randomize
