he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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