...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
