We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize