whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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