ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
