youre lurking in front of me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
