you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
