Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
