Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
