is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
