South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
