How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
