Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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