absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
