Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize