I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
