god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
